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Its with a heavy and guilt ridden heart that I type these words. I cant even begin to articulate how awful I'm feeling, my best friend who loved me and looked to me for help, and I failed him and let him die. Many months ago I took him to a local "avian" vet because he was passing millet in his poop, this vet immidiatley seemed to only be broadly familiar with avian health, this vet told me the bird needed GRIT!!!! but instead of taking him to another vet for a second opinion, I just went home and "kept an eye on it" and like they do, he acted perfectly normal for many months after that so I never felt the need to do a followup, but then he very suddenly became lethargic, stopped eating and started vomiting, so I took him to a different vet, that told me he had a very severe bacterial AND fungal infection in his crop, and a large mass/lump in his lower abdomen, and we treated him for 3 weeks with antibiotics, but in the last few days he stopped eating again, and I was trying to force feed him pablum with a syringe, but it was to no avail, and he died in my arms last night at about 7:30, I've never wept like I did last night, Ive had other pets die, but peacefully in their sleep, not horribly like this, right infront of me.
I just feel so awful, that I didnt take him to another vet right away, and he seemed to go downhill so much faster after i tried to force feed him, I feel like I killed him, if in my panic to try to get him to eat what if I did it wrong and I just made it so his last hours on this earth where slowly asphyxiating with lungs clogged with pablum OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
 

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Oh no, I am so sorry! Fly free, Krieger! As your name says, you are a brave soldier and have been strong. Keep being strong!
Don't blame yourself for his death please! It's really not your fault. You did go to the vet and have been a good owner. You could not know that the vet was wrong. You are definitely not to blame, and I am sure Krieger knows and loves you from Heaven.
 

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Fly free. sweet little one. :love:

Don't beat yourself up, and I do know that is much easier said than done. It is human nature to trust what a vet or doctor says to do. You followed that with a trusting heart, doing what you were told was best for your little one. Every thing you have done, you did with a loving heart and best intentions.

Give yourself time to grieve. Allow the pain to come, remember the good times, and know your little buddy knew you loved him. My heart is with you.
 

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Its with a heavy and guilt ridden heart that I type these words. I cant even begin to articulate how awful I'm feeling, my best friend who loved me and looked to me for help, and I failed him and let him die. Many months ago I took him to a local "avian" vet because he was passing millet in his poop, this vet immidiatley seemed to only be broadly familiar with avian health, this vet told me the bird needed GRIT!!!! but instead of taking him to another vet for a second opinion, I just went home and "kept an eye on it" and like they do, he acted perfectly normal for many months after that so I never felt the need to do a followup, but then he very suddenly became lethargic, stopped eating and started vomiting, so I took him to a different vet, that told me he had a very severe bacterial AND fungal infection in his crop, and a large mass/lump in his lower abdomen, and we treated him for 3 weeks with antibiotics, but in the last few days he stopped eating again, and I was trying to force feed him pablum with a syringe, but it was to no avail, and he died in my arms last night at about 7:30, I've never wept like I did last night, Ive had other pets die, but peacefully in their sleep, not horribly like this, right infront of me.
I just feel so awful, that I didnt take him to another vet right away, and he seemed to go downhill so much faster after i tried to force feed him, I feel like I killed him, if in my panic to try to get him to eat what if I did it wrong and I just made it so his last hours on this earth where slowly asphyxiating with lungs clogged with pablum OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
Please do not beat yourself up like this... you only did what you thought was best for your baby. I don't think what you did hurt your baby. He was a very ill bird and his body just got tired of fighting. You loved him and cared for him as well as possible with bad advice from the vet. You are not to blame ... RIP Krieger...
 

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**HUGE, freaking HUGE Hugs** I'm so sorry to hear the news about Krieger :( As ParrotletsRock said, don't beat yourself up over it. You did what you thought was right. You took him to the vet, which a lot of people won't do if they have the choice. You treated him when he was sick. And you were there when he passed. He was clearly loved :) I bet he would say thank you if he could. **Hugs again**
 

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I'm so, so sorry for your loss. It made me sad to read this. :( Believe me, I don't normally cry either, but when I lost my tiel I sobbed for days. It's all part of the healing. Please, be kind to yourself. I honestly don't think you did anything to hurt him. It doesn't sound like feeding him is what caused it. You did everything out of compassion and good intentions for Krieger. You are an awesome owner. You tried everything you could have for him and he couldn't have asked for anyone better in his life. He understands. And he's alright now.

Fly free Krieger
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss :( rest in peace Krieger.
 

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I am so sorry about your loss. I've been in your place. Same guilt because after necropsy it was determined that my force feeding my bird did lead to her death. It was horrible and I felt so guilty. And I still think about it and wish things turned out differently. But you will start to get over it in time. In the end, mistakes happen and unfortunately it cannot be undone. But know that you were doing everything you did to help your bird. You did the best you could and try to remember your time with him.


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Krieger

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. And as others have said, please don't blame yourself. It sounds as if even if you had not tried to force feed him, the result would have been the same. I understand your feelings, though. Please be at peace knowing that Krieger is at peace, too.
 

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Feel so sad for your loss and like everyone else has said, don't beat yourself up. Last year I lost 6 babies through ignorance and thinking I could hand rear them after the mother attacked them, one died in the nest and I took the other 5 hoping that I could save them, but slowly over a few weeks each of them died. It was my fault and I felt so guilty because they were so trusting and loving and because I didn't really know what I was doing they died. You did the best you could do and you trusted your vet, that's all we can do. Grieve by all means but let go of the guilt, remember your boy with love.
 

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Thank you for the kind words all of you, I still feel so awful about what I've done though, no matter how much you say to not beat myself up, all I can think of are how i made his last hours on earth WORSE than death suffocating him with a pablum filled syringe.... i just

see now im crying again

Im just...... Im so sorry Krieger...
 

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Thank you for the kind words all of you, I still feel so awful about what I've done though, no matter how much you say to not beat myself up, all I can think of are how i made his last hours on earth WORSE than death suffocating him with a pablum filled syringe.... i just

see now im crying again

Im just...... Im so sorry Krieger...
I am sorry to hear you are still unwell. I understand you. Not because it is your fault (it isn't!) but because I am a person who tends to dwell on the negative too and I just can't forgive myself either when something happens.

But it is definitely not your fault. Unfortunately there is no logic in life and we cannot know why it happened. But Krieger knew that you loved him, that's something we know.
 

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I am so, so sorry for your loss. You were just trying to help him...it's the first vet's fault, if you ask me. They should have run tests, and should NOT be ignorant enough to say that all birds need grit. Horrible and inexcusably ignorant. If I were you, I would write them a letter. They should know their negligence and ignorance caused an animal's death. As for the force-feeding, it's what just about anyone would have done, and I don't know that it would have made a significant impact on his comfort levels on his final hours since he was so sick.
 

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Thank you for the kind words all of you, I still feel so awful about what I've done though, no matter how much you say to not beat myself up, all I can think of are how i made his last hours on earth WORSE than death suffocating him with a pablum filled syringe.... i just

see now im crying again

Im just...... Im so sorry Krieger...
Honestly, I don't think there was anything that could've been done at this point to save him. And him getting to spend that time with you probably meant more to him than anything else you could've done. At least you tried. I very much doubt you asphyxiated him. When a tiel goes downhill like that, it happens quick. I lost my Cinnamon within hours of her vomiting. With Cupkake, I syringe fed her like you did to keep her alive through the night before getting her to a vet. At least you tried and that means all the world to them. You were and he got to be with you at the end. :angel: Fly free little one.
 
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