[Chiiaraaaa]

Hi,
I made an account so I could ask my question. First of all, sorry if my english isnt that good, i am not a native speaker.
This question is probably asked a lot and the past few months i googles a lot about cockatiels bonding with each other, but i never found some real helpful answers on the internet. It might be a long post, so sorry in advance.

Alright, I have four birds. Two budgies who get along great, they bonded with in a week or so. They are not tame, they are just living in my house like we are roommates and I think they are quite alright. They are now about 2 years old. I got them at a pet store, i wanted to get them from a breeder.. But they were the only ones looking healthy, and couldn't leave them.

I also have two cockatiels. They are from the same breeder, not family of each other. The male cockatiel Otis is almost a year old (18th july), and im thinking how I have to say it in English properly but he is always around. Asking for attention, making sure he gets scratched or cuddled before the other cockatiel... He is very egocentric, it is his way only. The world is about Otis and Otis only. But other than that he is very sweet, he just started talking and he knows some songs. He is also very focused on me and one of my best friend. If the friend is around he acts like a macho towards me and bites me if i want to scratch him.

The other cockatiel, Odette a female, is not quite yet one year old (12th september). She is very timid. Almost never screams, never begs for anything. Doesn't come near me that often, because she always gets chased away by Otis. I try to divide the attention equal. And try to have one on one time with Odette. She likes to be pet in her cage, i have to stick my finger trough the bars. I am trying to pet her inside the cage but she doesn't like that too much. She is tame, she gets up on my hand if i have to put her back or rescue her (bad flyer).

They are really different from each other. Otis is a total extrovert and Odette a total introvert. But they don't like each other. Well, they dont fight so thats good. And when I scratch Odette, Otis tries to come close, sometimes to preen her and sometimes to "fight" her. I only saw him bite her feet once. Most of the times its him making a threat I think i can describe it like so. He will stand with his wings away from his body, making himself big and he picks at her. Odette reacts with a little scream and walks or climb away.
But if Otis tries to preen her, she just picks back at him (maybe scared to be bitten?)..

But if one is outside the cage, mostly Otis comes out directly and Odette comes when she pleases. They scream for each other. I know what sounds they make and what they mean. Like the screeching, the begging noises, the screams for attention and also the screams when one is out of sight. They do that when I leave or go to the toilet. But also if Otis is somewhere else in the room, and they are out of sight he calls for her.

I am so confused by their behavior. They seem to tolerate each other, but also call for each other? When i went to the vet, they were in separate travel thingies and they called the whole time unless they saw one another.. They are my first cockatiels, and are cleary very different from budgies if i look at their behavior. I just dont know how i have to interpret this behavior.. Do they like each other? Hate each other, I dont know?
Like this evening they are sitting side by side. Otis on the food bowl, and Odette on the cardboard thingie, but most of the time that cardboard is Otis his throne, and he lets her sit on it... He sometimes tries to come close, but Odette always runs of as soon as he comes close. But now they are just chilling, watching me type this..

I am just confused, so if anyone who read it can help me out i would be thankful!!

 

[roxy culver]

Welcome to the forum!!

Sounds like you may have a bondage pair. This means they don't particularly like each other but they don't have anyone else. Otis sees you as his mate (or your friend when they're around) and so Odette is a threat to that. Odette is so used to Otis being mean to her that she doesn't let him near her for fear of abuse. As long as he isn't keeping her from eating, they should be fine. https://www.talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=36810 this has more info.

 

[Chiiaraaaa]

Oh wow I feel so sad for them now. I don’t know what I can do for them so they can both be happy. And I love them equally as much, so I can’t say I will get another bird and sell one. I also don’t have the space to buy an other cage, and get two new birds. One for each. I have a studio apartment and with four birds already it is kinda crowded. I am saving money for a move, so I can rent something bigger. But I’m talking about saving 1500 euro, so that might take at least a year.

Otis does let her eat. They eat most of the time out of the same bowl. They have two and one water bottle (I have a rabbit water bottle for them because they kept pooping in the water) and when I give them millet or a snack stick they just share. Most of the time Odette eating the most. And when they can’t be out of the cage they play together on the bottom where they have some of their toys.

My breeder keeps saying they will get along if I give it time. But I think that Odette is stressed all of the time because of Otis. Just about half an hour ago I heard strange noises from the cage. And she keeps stretching her feet over and over again. So I got her out to look and she was so hot ant panting. I cuddled with her for some time and she was yawning (most animals yawn as a relief of stress) and made begging noises. But I feel so bad for her. It feels like I can’t give her the life she deserves because I can’t let go of her. She is the sweetest of all animals I ever met and feel so blessed that she is with me. But the same wit Otis, he is like an average bird but he is mine. And all four are special to me. Ola was my first ever pet and olly also.
I feel so much happier since they are in my life and helped with my depression. If I have to give one of them up it would break me. But I can’t house 2 other birds.

I don’t know if that’s a good idea, but the cage of Otis and Odette stands on a table. What if I get rid of that table, buy like a big Montana cage that can house with ease four birds? But what if those two new birds like each other more? I just don’t know what to do and what’s best and now I’m just rambling like this forum is my therapist. I need some sleep. Any way, thanks for everybody whose willing to help me!!!