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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Me and my bird aren't the closest I will be honest, long story short my old tiel died he wasnt even 5 yet and I'm not sure why he died between a dirty cage due to my carelessness as I was younger or that I sprayed perfume a few times. Days after I saw my first bird dead at the bottom of his cage my dad bought me a new one. I was still in mourning for the other one. that was back in 2013... between 2014-2015 my parents went through a divorcee and I really lost interest and became depressed, before I knew it we were moving house to house and I never got to spend time with my bird... He was never that tame either, he sings and he is loud. I've taken him out of the cage a few times only to realize that he doesn't trust my hands. finally being brave enough I took him out again after months. I know this is horrible and I may not deserve him.
My mom is consitering to trade him in for 2 new actual tame babies because I never got to pick my new pet my dad did and just brought it home. Or we get another new bird for him to have a companion. I honestly considered trading him in but I then felt like scum. I'm really not sure of what to do

Is there any way I can get him used to my hands, once hes on my shoulder or any part of my body like my leg or stomach hes fine, he pecks me playfully and makes noises...Just when Im ready to try to get him on my finger to take him to his cage or out of his cage he panics and flaps/struggles alot. I don't wanna say I forced him out of his cage but I slowly grabbed him as much as he squirmed and just let him out because I felt horrible to see him cooped up. I don't wanna give him back its been nearly 4 years and I want to make things right for him...
Thanks for your advice and your time.
 

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If you really want to work with the bird you have, understand it will take time and patience. I believe there is a guide to taming on here. Look at that. You'll need to slowly get him used to your hands. Put them next to the cage, in the cage (though not near him at first). Let him get comfortable with being near them, slowly decreasing the distance between your hands and him. Eventually you can try feeding him from your hand. millet typically works well for this. Once he will willing eat from your hand, then you can start working on him stepping up. The whole process could take weeks, or months, or because he is a little older it could take longer.
 

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For your situation, I suggest trying out this advice: http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=33824 it will help that you understand his fear and go at his own pace.

http://talkcockatiels.com/showthread.php?t=28661 food bribery is also a good place to start. Once the bird realizes good things come from you, he will warm up to you.

Just keep in mind that he may never be super tame. He may only accept mild handling. But making him happy is a good thing too. Don't feel bad. Life takes over sometimes. All we can do is learn from our mistakes. Would love to see pictures of the baby.
 

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I think that roxy and lostsong answered your post pretty well. I only have a couple things to add:

1. Unless you absolutely have to (i.e. an emergency), I would avoid grabbing your tiel. Even though it is really sad to see them all cooped up, when you force them out of their cage that makes you a home invader to them.

2. I don't think that you are scum or a bad person. Honestly, if you don't feel that you have the patience to tame a bird, that doesn't make you cruel or irresponsible, it just makes you honest. In my personal opinion, I think that the best pet owner does what is best for them and their pet(s), no matter what is morally correct, or whatever. If you don't feel that you can tame a bird, then finding him a new home and adopting an already tamed one might be the answer. The only person who knows for sure is you. I personally know that I probably don't have what it takes to tame a bird. I don't think that I have the patience. I did need to gain Kirby's trust when I first met him, but he was hand raised, and was already tame. So, really, you just have to be perfectly honest with yourself and do what's best for you and for the bird. If I were you, I'd read up on the different taming strategies and try it for awhile and see how it goes. From there, you can decide what the best option is.

Please keep us updated, I wish you the best of luck!
 
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